Purpose of Clubbing

1. Get laid

2. Attention seeker

3. Dance, because your dance moves are so hideous you can't show em in daily life.

4. Drink, cheapskates who want free drinks

5. Play dress up, wear the sluttiest outfit and put on circus-ish make up.

6. Peer pressure

7. Find love *super cliche*

8. Seal business deals *yeah right*

9. Nothing better to do

10. Take pictures and upload to facebook, prove as if you have a life

so i have the sudden urge of blogging a post right now

random much, i know. especially at the odd hour of 542am.

just being me.

nothing has changed.

so much for trying to be better,

i reckon, it all failed.

all the education, values, thoughts, all went down to drain.

i am still the same.

no progress, no future, nothing.

i am still the same.

trying so hard to be someone i am not.

trying to be be at high culture.

and never try hard enough

i am still the same

without passion

without faith

without direction

without dreams

without without

i am still the same

i only think

but i never act

to be honest, i dont know who am i.

the continual process of searching yourself is exhausting,

it sucked up all your brain cells.

simplicity is bliss.

if only everything is black and white.

if only i ever know what i want, what i love and what i desire.

simplicity is rare.

why cant i wake up one day and finally realized what my passion is?

why cant i wake up one day and everything goes accordingly?

i want to say my plan

but i never had one

years after years

of course i am getting worried

i do not want to be in this same old situation

but i do not want to force to conform into what others want me to

and before that i have to know what i want

why

why is it so hard to know what you want

if human being has always know what they want

will the world become a little more simple?

eg. if i want Thai food for dinner, then i look for Thai restaurant.

i wouldnt waste time, effort, thinking what should i have, walking aimlessly, looking for something.

i am the one walking aimlessly.

always.

i wanna pray.

but i have no strength.

i am weak.

mentally.

yet i fantasize.

fantasize about all the fairytale that will never happened to me

yet i fantasize.

nothing makes me happy anymore.

or rather i do not know what will make me happy.

i wanna set free.

be free.

free.

totally deserted this blog

have been crazily in love with tumblr :)

but i will keep this blog

it has too many memories

is like a diary, and i enjoy reading back all those posts.

love pip!

signing off,

ian

sometimes i think

life is the ultimate bitch that destroyed

what you have always believed in

what you always have faith in

what you think is right

what keeps you being optimistic.

it shattered your hopes and belief into jagged little pieces

beyond repair

and expect you to be strong

to fight back the reality

what if all you've left does not permit you to fight back?

where do we find faith and belief to carry on our lives?

i look at my blog

and i think

pathetic

for the past two weeks

i had heaps of fun in singapore

ever!

probably because of Melanie :)

i love her, the drunk-bitchy-funny girl.

the previous friday night was good at tantric, pretty fun.

my sexy aussie ascent got complimented, haha

wasn't too wasted, just nice to get there.

saturday arvo, i spent time walking around Orchard,

had beers at Emerald Hill, acting all tourist alone. Fun!

then i met the very-attractive-charming Chris and Tanya from Perth.

went over their hotel, had a beer.

then off to Clarke Quay, for more beers!

Melanie came and joined us, she was already tipsy! haha so much fun.

we crashed Melanie's frens house party at CQ central after that.

Crazy Caucasians and awesome drunk people.

met heaps of nice guys. but the end of the house party, i was so wasted, i made friend with everyone. lol. the party did not end there, i was supposed to be in Tantric to meet Chris again. but was dragged to Home Club by Melanie and friends.

We party like true rockstars, like the rich and famous!

and the end of the night, Melanie was epic drunk. we walked along CQ barefooted, running across the streets like mad people. She couldnt remember anything the next day and lost her phone! Remorseful much? lol

One word : WASTED

the next day, i had the worst hangover ever.

but i had to go back home. ugh. how revolting.

and just last friday, i went over Sg again.

Tantric was major boring and super crowded. i went for 5 mins and left.

met Melanie at CQ, some club i barely remember the name.

we had the VIP seats beside the DJ console.

Acting "atas" all the time. Haha. Josh and Armando were awesome.

Armando was major funny, he kept saying "if i were gay, i will fuck you"

hahahahaha

Met heaps of hi-bye friends who i barely remember their names.

Party with Melanie and friends are a lot of fun, but it killls

it seriously does. but i love all the rich and famous expat.

i love my posh melbourne ascent!

i love it, i am gonna keep speaking like that before i lose it!

Deserved to be single

when you are single,

you keep wondering why everyone beside you are attached.

why are all the ugly guys getting themselves hot partner.

whilst you, who think you are far better looking, more educated, smarter, sociable,

still single.

and you keep whining about single.

complaining that there's no one who wants you.

no one who loves you.

but deep down, sub-consciously,

you do no want a relationship.

you hate being tied-up.

you loathe routine,

you dislike comprises.

all you are longing for is a fairly tale,

a cheesy romantic relationship,

a charming lover that only happens in your dream.

before you wake up from your dream,

you deserved to be single.

Deserved.

In both ways.